Break ups can be so difficult to cope with. Especially if you are the sentimental or emotional type. A lot of us have been through a couple of it before. Cheating was one of the culprits. There is a way to prevent it and like the old saying goes: Prevention is better than cure. In this article, we will examine what actually can be the causes of all the break ups and try to scrutinize on these factors.The Cracks And The Warnings
Reasons Why Break up happens
All things happen for a reason. Boyfriend cheats, husbands sleep around, fiancée is seeing another guy who is actually your best friend or brother (how disgusting, you may say)...call it anything you want, the truth is that everything happen for a reason which are preventable. I hate to say it, but most of the time we are at fault ourselves. Thanks to the ever ignorant nature in most of us. These reasons bear obvious signs that most of us are just too ignorant to notice it because "it can only happen to someone else"...Take a step back to think what we have missed and try considering them. Here are some reasons that I feel contribute to relationship failures.
Placing Trust
Trust in a relationship is a fragile element but is the pillar and foundation. As fragile as it is, it needs to be strongly considered for the relationship to last. If there is little trust between the two lovers, that relationship is heading for the rocks. In a case where one of the lovers trust the other the more and was betrayed, it will be difficult to continue in such relationship; even if he or she does, that pain still lingers.
To put trust in a relationship can go both ways. That is, giving full trust to your other half can either work for you or against you. In some case, it works for both. It works for the betrayal because he or she has misused it to gain for his or her own interest. And it worked against the other person because he or she managed to see someone else right under the other’s nose.
I would recommend placing trust accordingly. Adjust its level according to the current situation. Access it with due care and try not to be too blind on not to see it coming. When the time comes where it warrants for trust to be discounted, don't over react, don’t indulge so much unnecessities. It'll just make things worse. Give the benefit of the doubt and see how the frequency of the events is. If the discrepancy is too obvious then you have to move to the next step.
To put trust in a relationship can go both ways. That is, giving full trust to your other half can either work for you or against you. In some case, it works for both. It works for the betrayal because he or she has misused it to gain for his or her own interest. And it worked against the other person because he or she managed to see someone else right under the other’s nose.
I would recommend placing trust accordingly. Adjust its level according to the current situation. Access it with due care and try not to be too blind on not to see it coming. When the time comes where it warrants for trust to be discounted, don't over react, don’t indulge so much unnecessities. It'll just make things worse. Give the benefit of the doubt and see how the frequency of the events is. If the discrepancy is too obvious then you have to move to the next step.
Blind Accusations
I can say that blind accusation is a follow up of the above reason in the signs of breaking up. Where tensions are high, words can also be flying out of each other's mouth without anyone of you realizing its frequencies and full consequences. At this point, both of you is talking with your head without thinking. It takes a lot of courage to eat up that pride, as ugly it may look, and stop the escalation of the accusation.
Where trust is broken, blind accusation will reign supreme in the relationship. Every move the other party makes will give rise to suspicion which in turn becomes words that can be harmful. There is a need to analyze and validate the situation with rationale thinking before anything else. Sometimes things can go wrong due to misunderstanding.
In conquering the cankerworm of blind accusation in a relationship, we need to minimize on this where ever is possible and see the rationale part of things. Come to a conclusion only when you are certain of the facts and never before all facts are laid down.
Where trust is broken, blind accusation will reign supreme in the relationship. Every move the other party makes will give rise to suspicion which in turn becomes words that can be harmful. There is a need to analyze and validate the situation with rationale thinking before anything else. Sometimes things can go wrong due to misunderstanding.
In conquering the cankerworm of blind accusation in a relationship, we need to minimize on this where ever is possible and see the rationale part of things. Come to a conclusion only when you are certain of the facts and never before all facts are laid down.
Being Irrational In Solving Problems
Things can never get done when yelling takes control of any problem solving sessions. When two people keep talking in loud tones to each other, it is certain that no one wish to listen to the other person. This is particularly true especially in a relationship. I believe this is in fact one of the fastest way to get yourselves the ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend title.
Think about it, when was the last time you ever had anything solved with yelling? You yell at a kid to get something done today, you might not get away with it next time. The kid may decide to ignore you when fed up of your yells; how much more when you deal with an adult who has emotion and pride like you do. Yelling is just another outlet of irrational thinking which can lead to a relationship break down. Keeping a cool head does pay off. Try it and you will see the difference.
Think about it, when was the last time you ever had anything solved with yelling? You yell at a kid to get something done today, you might not get away with it next time. The kid may decide to ignore you when fed up of your yells; how much more when you deal with an adult who has emotion and pride like you do. Yelling is just another outlet of irrational thinking which can lead to a relationship break down. Keeping a cool head does pay off. Try it and you will see the difference.
Activities and responsibilities of life do take on away from time to time, from a place to another. In such cases, loved ones are starved with loneliness, sometimes neglect. As important that job or business is to you, so should your partner be to you. If you can see her, call her frequently telling her how much you care and are eager to grab the slightest opportunity to be with her. Send her surprise gifts and when the opportunity falls to be with her, make it worthwhile. Hmmm… you must be thinking now ‘this is a new great idea.’
Communication Breakdown
This is THE number ONE reason why most relationship fails- lack of communication. It can be a lot of reasons on how and why this can happen but whatever the reason you have, please make an effort on not to let this one happen. This factor can help to prevent all the above reasons from becoming the main ingredient of a break up.
If you have Trust issue, talk to your other half about it. If you have received blind accusations, talk to your other half about it. If you or your other half have not been spending time with each other, talk to your other half about it. It’s all about talking and being straight and open-minded to each other. Throwing everything to the dogs does not help to bring the relationship closer. It takes time and effort in order to prevent a break up from happening.
If you have Trust issue, talk to your other half about it. If you have received blind accusations, talk to your other half about it. If you or your other half have not been spending time with each other, talk to your other half about it. It’s all about talking and being straight and open-minded to each other. Throwing everything to the dogs does not help to bring the relationship closer. It takes time and effort in order to prevent a break up from happening.
The Unconventional Method Can Help You Win Back Your Other Half
If the prevention does not work, don’t worry, it is not really the end of the world. After all, you have been given an opportunity to correct your undoing. Think about it...As much as how there is a recipe for love, there is actually, in a way, recipe to prevent a break up and winning back that someone's heart, passion, desire and love. The evidences are everywhere that there is a formula to it. Think about it, how did Bill got himself out of a sticky situation with Hillary still by his side? He is not alone. There are many other countless unseen and unheard of situations where a break up seemed inevitable but in the end the couple managed to patch back.
We sometimes wonder how did they ever do it. It’s all about saying the right things at the right time. Most people who have broken up with their ex in extreme circumstances and got back, did just that. Saying the right thing at the right time. And most of the time, they did it by accident, without knowing that they have actually used a formula to get their ex back.
We sometimes wonder how did they ever do it. It’s all about saying the right things at the right time. Most people who have broken up with their ex in extreme circumstances and got back, did just that. Saying the right thing at the right time. And most of the time, they did it by accident, without knowing that they have actually used a formula to get their ex back.
First Step.
As unconventional it may seem, this crucial step is an opening move to getting your ex to get back with you. This step is going to surprise you and maybe even your ex. What you need to do in this first step is to agree with him or her if they are the ones who initiated the break up. Agree with your break up. React by saying with something like:
- "Alright, I'm seeing it coming and maybe it’s for the better for the both of us."
-" I'm glad you have brought that up. because I've been thinking of the same thing for a long time and i think it’s the best thing to do."
Or you may want to respond by writing a short hand written letter for opening moves. Remember, don't text message, don't call. A sample of what you can write may look something like this:
"Hey u know what, I was acting kinda crazy but you're exactly actually right. I agree that we should split up. It’s probably the best thing for the both of us."
Don't panic if you think this response sounds ridiculous in trying to get your ex back. The rationale in this is this; you have to get on their side, you have to agree with them, you have to let them go before they ever want to come back. One reason this works is that, people want what they can't have. It's a universal fact. And that is precisely the strategy we are going to use.
The above step is just one of the many steps in this art and science of making up. The list goes on and on with several other steps to follow.
- "Alright, I'm seeing it coming and maybe it’s for the better for the both of us."
-" I'm glad you have brought that up. because I've been thinking of the same thing for a long time and i think it’s the best thing to do."
Or you may want to respond by writing a short hand written letter for opening moves. Remember, don't text message, don't call. A sample of what you can write may look something like this:
"Hey u know what, I was acting kinda crazy but you're exactly actually right. I agree that we should split up. It’s probably the best thing for the both of us."
Don't panic if you think this response sounds ridiculous in trying to get your ex back. The rationale in this is this; you have to get on their side, you have to agree with them, you have to let them go before they ever want to come back. One reason this works is that, people want what they can't have. It's a universal fact. And that is precisely the strategy we are going to use.
The above step is just one of the many steps in this art and science of making up. The list goes on and on with several other steps to follow.
No comments:
Post a Comment